Quit trying to make everything better

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5

There comes a time in life when you have to quit trying to make everything better for your self and your family.  Sometimes the house you have is just fine, the car you drive doesn’t need to be any better, the money you are making is enough to live.  You just need to relax and enjoy what you have accomplished so far and let your friends and family see you content.  

While it makes sense to work hard to provide and make a good living, being content in life is a wonderful thing to experience and see.  When your kids watch you be happy with what you have in life, they learn a tremendous lesson.

Years ago when us baby boomers were born, it was customary to work hard to get more, have more and move up in the world.  However, our world has been transformed to a place where most of us have plenty enough to live.  We honestly do not need a bigger tv, larger SUV or bigger rooms to live in.  What we need is family time together, kids that see their parents loving each other and a nightly prayer at the dinner table.

Solitude, down time, reading a book, quiet dinner, taking a walk, “how was your day at school” conversation, board games.  These are the places where your soul is nourished and our body is renewed.   It’s in these moments that many of our troubles are solved and relationships are tightened.

While you go through life, try practicing having a lot of down time, strive for that more than the expensive vacation or the designer clothes.  Remember, our goal in life is to be happy and content; you can honestly do that with very little in life, provided you are concentrating on the important things.

Dear Lord, help me to be content with what You have given me and show me ways to accomplish this.  Amen.

Don’t major on the minor

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

Mom, can I have ice cream before I got to bed?  Is this ideal?  Nope.  But is my kid asking first?  Being polite?  Mostly eating a good dinner.  Yes.  Who cares, it’s not the end of the world.  Is my husband doing exactly what I want him to do at the exact right time? Generally, no.  But is he at work every day, being a good dad to our kids and always around.  Then I have nothing to complain about.  Is my house clean.  Absolutely not.  But is my family together under one roof, spending time together and healthy?  Yes.  Who cares about the house? 

In the scope of life, you can’t waste energy on things that are just peripheral items.  It would be like worrying about your little toe instead of your heart, it just doesn't make sense.  The next time you are upset about something, take a step back and determine if it’s worth the energy to be upset about it.

There are so many things I just let go these days, that previously they would have been a really big deal.   I try hard to look at each situation in the context of what really matters.

Our life consists of moments that we can’t take back.  As you consider a situation and feel frustrated by it, imagine that you didn't have the situation to be frustrated by.  For example, you are frustrated by your job:  Imagine getting fired and then you didn't have THAT to get frustrated with.  When you are upset with a person in your life just think about what it would be like if that person was not in your life. 

The mind is a very powerful thing and controls everything we do (duh), so as it controls us in a negative way, it can control us in a positive way as well.  It’s all up to us and our perspective.  Don’t major on the minor; keep your thoughts on the stuff in life that really matters.

Dear Lord, as I go through the day, help me to keep my priorities where they should be.  Help me to understand that certain things just aren't worth worrying about.

Hold out on God

                                              

In all things give thanks.

1 Thessalonians 5;18

This year I got my dream job.  Sounds goofy I know, but it’s true. It’s fairly close in to where we live, I’m doing something I love, working with good people and I get paid a decent wage.  I literally felt as if I hit the lottery with this job.  

But here is the deal, when I was not at my ideal job, I thanked God for the job I did have, all the while understanding and knowing that God must want me in my that current position for some reason.  I don't fully understand why He had me at that job, although, I have a few ideas.  I may never know why I was there, but I trust that He knew best.  My point is that rather than being angry and mad about my current situation, I tried valiantly to be appreciative.  On many occasions, I was extremely frustrated by events, but worked hard to keep my emotions and thoughts in check

Although I don’t usually pat myself on the back, I have learned a lot of patience over the last 10 years (I’ve had kids about 10 years, hmmm, correlation?)  I am very proud of the tolerance I’ve developed.  My favorite verse has always been the one for today, but I feel like I am really living it now.  

So I encourage you to relax about your current situation and allow God to use it for something good in your life.  Maybe the reason I was at my previous job was to help me develop some character in my life that needed developing?  Maybe it was simply for the people I would meet?  I am not sure, but I do know that if you are constantly fighting against your current situation, it’s almost impossible to see the potential good that could come from it or learn anything in the process.

Dear Lord, help me to accept my current situation and trust that You know what is best for me.

Love and Respect

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:32-33

Men need unconditional respect.  Women need unconditional love.

Statistically and biblically this rings true over and over and over.  I realize there are times when you think…how do I respect THAT?  Or how do I love THAT?  Remember it’s not about deserving or earning, but about our significants needing it.  It’s kind of like food.  Without food you will shrivel up and die. 

If we only got food when we acted right, I venture to say most of us wouldn’t make it.

You should try it and see what happens.  So, the next time that special person in your life does something you don't care for and you get really mad about it ~ try treating that person with respect or love in spite of your feelings.   When a woman acts mean and nasty, hold her tight and tell her she’s beautiful and that she deserves a break.  When a man does that very thing that frustrates you, and then he does it again, surprise him and tell him he’s a great man and why you appreciate him.

Break the cycle.

Some people would say, “I can’t, no way”.  Well, then, try this:  Pretend someone offered you a million dollars and all you had to do was treat your loved one with love (or respect) for a week, “no matter what.”  My guess is that you would do it, with enthusiasm.  So, you CAN do it IF you decide to. I would like to suggest that developing a wonderful relationship with the significant person in your life is worth a lot more than a million dollars.  It’s worth a life time of happiness and contentment.  It's a great model for young children to see. 

Dear Lord, please give me the wisdom and patience to treat the people in my life with love and respect, even when I don’t feel like it.  Please, help me to see the value in this.

See the Big Picture

                                                                       

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.  Psalms 139:23 and 24

When someone is unpleasant to you, you must remember this:  It’s generally not about you, but them.

When you are getting bad vibes from someone, it has more to do with what they are going thru rather than what you are going through with them.  When we are experiencing a challenging situation with another person, step back and try to feel compassion for that person rather than contempt.  It changes your attitude and allows you to help the situation rather than make it worse.

I can now say that I am able to relax when things aren’t going my way. I say it with a bit of hesitation, not wanting to imply that I’m good at it.  The ability to sit back and thank God in all situations, knowing there must be a greater reason something is happening, rather than one you can personally witness, will help you mightily in life.  When you are able to walk calmly through a situation even when it’s not going your way, it’s good for your body.  You are able to keep your blood pressure down, you stomach free of TUMS and eventually have a “ah ha” moment; Instead of the tumultuous feeling you get when you worry incessantly about something.

When it comes to people you are dealing with, if they are acting completely out of line towards you, there must be something else going on that has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with you.  Sure it affects you in their actions toward you, but, don’t take it personally.  Bite your tongue, say a prayer for them and allow them to work through their issue without added struggle from you.

Dear Lord, help me to help hurting people, rather than hurt hurting people.  Help me to be a comfort to those than need it rather than a source of pain.  Amen